::reminder::

Open your eyes.

the motherhood

the summer found me longing for adventure
wishing for peace
and sometimes, I'll admit, quiet

I visited with my mother quite a bit, and I found all the ways we are the same and different. I wondered if my daughter does the same, and if she feels as exasperated as I do thinking about it.

I walked the beach with my grandmother and marveled at the organization, the patience and the determination it must have taken to get through the days of raising 9 little ones. I always feel like I can do it when I consider her as a mother.

Often my two older ones were off at the beach or the lake, they were on adventures of their own that included fairy houses, loose teeth, funny jokes and a canoe ride that I think we will be hearing about for a very long time. One of them learned to dive and the other is still trying, though feels she needs some privacy, because all those people trying to help, are no help at all.

For much of the summer I was alone with my baby and we survived four new molars, countless bumps and one bloody lip. We tried all of the local baby swings and walked the neighborhoods. I love to look at other peoples gardens. I try to formulate what the flowers say about the neighbors and haven't come up with an exactness to it. I'm working on it though. We ate corn on the cob and had so many breakfast as lunch/dinner days. The adventures were small and in some ways I didn't see it as such until weeks after.
Making for the best kind, I say.

September is so close with the promise of all things crisp. We are finding our way back into the kitchen together. Sweeping summer up and getting ready for the schedule that comes with school.

It feels like this is the beginning of them growing up and away. So many days I wished them out of my hair and now my chest feels tight with it all. I think it will always be this back and forth rhythm for us. This hanging on, wishing away, letting go, and reaching back, this is motherhood for me.

feeling inside out

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

I look down
at the line in the sand
and I wonder about the sides of this motherhood walk.
What is too much for them
and for me,
and how do we know?

busy....

waves
Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.