spc

when i was 18 i used my body as a canvas

i inked it to get a rise out of my mother

and that worked

when i was 19 i pierced my belly button

my mother never knew about that

a few weeks later i found out i was pregnant

and everything changed

i stopped trying to get my mother's attention because

i needed to think about myself as a mother

how would i be?

who would i become?, and a million other questions

when i was 20 i delivered my baby girl

into a world i really didn't know a lot about

when our baby was 2 weeks old, sleeping beside me in a bassinet

i was curled on the couch with my best friends matt,katie,ann&al

and columbine happened

right before my eyes

kids not too far from my age

dead

and i was a mother now

a mother

how can i do this? i said it over and over

and again this week, 8 years later

it's still going on, and i still struggle

how will i let her go off into a world like this?

it weighs heavy

maybe a little too much for here, but it's on my mind, and so it's here now too

check out the rest of the body self portraits here